the speaker and the outrageous nose hairs

jells — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:58:41 +0000

one time, we were at a fair in Sandwich, IL

we were checking out the motorhomes cause thats what people in the country do, they buy houses with wheels

i look over and denny hastert, at this time he was the current speaker of the house, was walking towards me and wifey

he was surrounded by secret service

i poked jules and headed over to him with my hand extended

i introduced myself, told him i was in the 17th congressional district, one of his constituents and he introduced himself

then i couldnt speak

i was transfixed

he had the longest nose hairs of any person ive ever seen in my life

he asked me the same question three times and i said nothing

jules nudged me and i stammered out “uh, john deere all the way” or something equally as inconsequential, we shook hands again and we walked away

we rounded the corner and i said out loud “DID YOU SEE THE NOSE HAIRS ON THE SPEAKER OF THE FUCKING HOUSE?”

turns out he was doubling back

he heard me

the speaker of the house for the greatest country in the world has a 7 man security team on him at all times and they dont tell him he needs a trim trim

i did.