GagDragon

Posts Tagged ‘rules of modern music’

Karaoke is only ok if you are a lady or out of town on business, drunk and trying to get some stank on your hanglow from the jr. account executive you are training.

If you front a death metal band and work in a record store we will assume you are a d&d nerd, however if you also dig graves, we will assume you are a god.

From this day forth anytime you put the word chirstian in front of a sub-genre of music it will be tantumount to admiting that you like child porn.

If you are in a hard rock, rock, metal or rap group and you have not done the honorable thing and died by the time you are 32, you will be rounded up and forced to perform at assisted living facilities, and during half time of the WNBA finals.

Anyone who cannot overcome the ‘uncomfortable’ factor when a random broad whips out a vial of cocaine and nails a rail off of an amplifier or hotel desk, should stay on the gospel circuit.

Anyone who does NOT accept an award drunk is no longer relevant.

All roadies must have served time, be british or native american, either be spindly or obese, and tuck t-shirts into their jean shorts.