GagDragon

Posts Tagged ‘psat lives’

francis “karl” ringlamb

ventura, ca – 1962

When francis was 8 his drunk uncle rodney called into his room one dark night “KARL! Git your black ass out here!”
now francis was norwegian, and was named francis, not karl.
uncle rodney was the most popular guy in ventura with his thriving auto sales business and orange groves on the side, he was always helping 5 people while screwing 2. his affinity for the hooch got him into trouble with kids he thought were his and his brother’s son francis was no exception. as francis exited his room and approached his drunk uncle rodney with a confused look on his face uncle rodney stooped down into his face and said directly to his face with the breath of a distillery: “you’re black, and your name is karl, and don’t let anyone ever tell you different.”

Quadry “Chess King” Albertson

Born 1972

Peekskill, NY

Quadry got his nickname not for his skill in chess, for which he was a grand master, but because of his choice of attire in the mid to late 80s.  Quadry was what most would call a guido, which made for a complicated life since he was an African American teenager and there is one thing that italians hate more than grown black folks is teenage black folks.  But Quadry did not let this deter him as he sky rocketted in the chess community he invested all of his winnings in IOU sweatshirts and those reeboks that were supposed to be for aerobic classes but became a fashion statement for men sporting a ducks ass hair cut and driving fieros.  Tragically Quadry was taken from us too soon when he crashed his 1987 red Fiero after his then 8th grade girl friend spilled a bartles and james on his white IOU Sweatshirt with the red and pink lettering.