GagDragon

Posts Tagged ‘past lives’

Franz “capetillar” Sharalt

boston, mass – born 1969

in 1989/90, during the stanley cup playoffs between the bruins and the oilers, Franz was arrested on public intoxication charges outside the stadium after tripping over his shin length bruins jersey and subsequently telling the arresting officer “occifer! i havent a drink had all day! im drunk not!”
his dyslexia became so legendary he now makes royalties everytime someone says “take me drunk im home”

Rutherford “Tramp Stamp” MacCovey
Born 1974

Best Known for coining the term tramp stamp during Greekfest at Pepperdine University in 1993.  Two girls who appeared be straight out of a White Zombie video were dancing on the bar when “Tramp Stamp” noticed one of them had a lower back tattoo.  The new nickname came as a relief because it replaced his previous nickname “Daterape”

Reagan “poppy” Manferdini

Born 1946

resides outside Roanoke, VA

best known for failing his final drug test before being allowed on the first shuttle to the moon, in pre test video he is shown shaking neil armstrong’s hand, thanking him for the bagel that would ultimately remove him from the shotgun seat aboard the historically famous flight. the soundbite of “poppy” after failing the test can still be heard today as he invented the term “up yours” but in it’s full regalia it is spoken as “up yours neil, ya fuckin’ mook.”

Clarence “Bacon” Robard

Born 1957

resides in Lake Havasu, CA.

Best known for a rare nerve disorder that causes him to sweat bacon grease.