GagDragon

Posts Tagged ‘if by’

if by us forming the worlds greatest tag team wrestling champions called the bff’s our finishing move is we have our opponent out in the center of the ring, we climb to the top of catacorner turnbuckles, leap across the ring and in midair embrace each other with full body hugs (like two pieces of the bff medallon we both display prominently on our herringbon chain, and then land on the opponent for the pin you actually mean we enter into rap battles at the shelter in detroit on the urges of our black friend with dreads and rather than performing separately we perform together and finish each others words and sentences and we not only win rap battles on the reg, we created a new rap style called “marriage” then yes

if by we accidentally get two halves of the same tattoo that only becomes whole when we are embraced reverse cowgirl, you mean we form the worlds greatest tag team wrestling champions called the bff’s our finishing move is we have our opponent out in the center of the ring, we climb to the top of catacorner turnbuckles, leap across the ring and in midair embrace each other with full body hugs (like two pieces of the bff medallon we both display prominently on our herringbon chain, and then land on the opponent for the pin, then yes SIRREEE!

if by we are forced to impersonate women in order to live in a ladies only condo in the big city, you mean we accidentally get two halves of the same tattoo that only becomes whole when we are embraced reverse cowgirl, then yes

if by as soon as the growth media showed positive traces of formaldehyde on the clothing of our supervisors, we both knew instantly that the training we were enduring was some secret government trap to convince the people on the outskirts of our small jamaican village that the stockpile of weapons was just precautionary. all of the recent raids, protests and citizens outrage against the government were each single steps towards turning our peaceful marijuana sustained economy into a death producing silent killer. the force with which our government has shown as of late on the smugglers and importers of the jamaican kush and making them provide such a deadly ghost weed is trumped only by the numbers of weedzombies their laced product has created. we are the only two white guys who can save the world from the devil weed. but to convince the american college sector not to smoke jamaican kush is like telling krs one to make sense, it just wont happen, you mean that we are forced to impersonate women in order to live in a ladies only condo in the big city, then yes.

if by we were awaken by 4 am phone call from president Mitch Blumquist alerting us to the fact that his second child Darla had been kidnapped by a rouge gang of outlaw bikers lead by noted money launder and machinist William J Boeingkemp a violent sociopath with a heart of gold.  Within 20 minutes we are picked up by our military liason Col. Wolfgang Peters III, a vetern of every major US operation since the Vietnam war REALLY ended in 1998.  We are given our papers, a briefcase full of weapons including a vegetable peeler, to organic chemistry sets and 4 pearing knives.  We are dropped off in a remote location outside of Albuquerque and spend the next 4 days trekking through the desert until we our 45 meters from the Istanbul’s hideout where Darla is being held.  We silently give each other a thumbs up and a few other silent hand gestures and sneak off to the perimeter of the hideout.  We take out the pearing knives and slit the throat of the lookouts and sprint to the hideout guns a blazing.  When we get in we find we killed everyone including Darla, so we bury them all, plant evidence implicating president blumquist and win the medel of honor for our service to the country you mean, as soon as the growth media showed positive traces of formaldehyde on the clothing of our supervisors, we both knew instantly that the training we were enduring was some secret government trap to convince the people on the outskirts of our small jamaican village that the stockpile of weapons was just precautionary. all of the recent raids, protests and citizens outrage against the government were each single steps towards turning our peaceful marijuana sustained economy into a death producing silent killer. the force with which our government has shown as of late on the smugglers and importers of the jamaican kush and making them provide such a deadly ghost weed is trumped only by the numbers of weedzombies their laced product has created. we are the only two white guys who can save the world from the devil weed. but to convince the american college sector not to smoke jamaican kush is like telling krs one to make sense, it just wont happen, then yes.

if by the discovery of radioactive material ingested by us while performing our synchronized swimming routine off the coast of chernobyl for an audience of three that caused our chest cavities to implode and we now breathe by way of the dyson ball vacuum technology that once saved the lives of 17 seamen who’s subterfuge took on water while reaching 17 knots on the 17th parallel on the 17th of may, also known as the 17th month in an ordeal that lasted 17 seasons with a constant barrage of tinker toys floated out to see in memorial of those lost to parkinsons you mean we were awaken by 4 am phone call from president Mitch Blumquist alerting us to the fact that his second child Darla had been kidnapped by a rouge gang of outlaw bikers lead by noted money launder and machinist William J Boeingkemp a violent sociopath with a heart of gold.  Within 20 minutes we are picked up by our military liason Col. Wolfgang Peters III, a vetern of every major US operation since the Vietnam war REALLY ended in 1998.  We are given our papers, a briefcase full of weapons including a vegetable peeler, to organic chemistry sets and 4 pearing knives.  We are dropped off in a remote location outside of Albuquerque and spend the next 4 days trekking through the desert until we our 45 meters from the Istanbul’s hideout where Darla is being held.  We silently give each other a thumbs up and a few other silent hand gestures and sneak off to the perimeter of the hideout.  We take out the pearing knives and slit the throat of the lookouts and sprint to the hideout guns a blazing.  When we get in we find we killed everyone including Darla, so we bury them all, plant evidence implicating president blumquist and win the medel of honor for our service to the country, then yes.

if by conducting a routine exercise in counter-insurgency training which goes horribly awry when an unstable ion from a new experimental weapon gets loose cause massive muscle trauma to our upper torso forcing the military to rebuild us with highly suggestive bionics you actually mean the discovery of radioactive material ingested by us while performing our synchronized swimming routine off the coast of chernobyl for an audience of three that caused our chest cavities to implode and we now breathe by way of the dyson ball vacuum technology that once saved the lives of 17 seamen who’s subterfuge took on water while reaching 17 knots on the 17th parallel on the 17th of may, also known as the 17th month in an ordeal that lasted 17 seasons with a constant barrage of tinker toys floated out to see in memorial of those lost to parkinsons, then yes