GagDragon

Posts Tagged ‘dj shadow’

Concert Going:

when i was 16 i went to see NIN and david bowie.
at the time i was dating this older chick (she was 19) who i was constantly trying to impress with my coolness
i had been told in my younger days that i bore a striking resemblance to josh davis, aka dj shadow
while we were there eating prescription medications like pez, i had the idea to attempt to get back stage using my dj shadow moniker
i grabbed the chick by the hand, went towards the back stage entrance and cooly said to the HUGE BLACK WALL that was a security guard “tell trent josh is outside”
he looked at me funny but told the walkie walkie who was at the door
a few seconds later he shook his head towards the door and let me and my girlfriend (WHO WAS COOING WITH PLEASURE) backstage

i didnt know what i was going to do if i got in, i hadnt really thought that far
but there we were, standing under the stage just being in the way
groups of longhairs were swerving around us

after my girlfriend said “what do we do now?” all i could think of was “find free shit”
we found the craft room and started eating cubes of cheese and pocketing bottles of perrier and cherry 7up
girly started filling her purse, i cracked a cold molson ice tall boy
it was like two kids in a candy store that was serving quality bland ass food for roadies

a few mins later we hear a HEY and turn around
trent reznor is at the door smiling
“you dont even look like josh.”
i was awestruck, THIS DUDE WANTS TO FUCK ME LIKE AN ANIMAL! i didnt realize he was so creepy looking in real life

i started to say something and he asks “how many times has that worked?”
i smiled back at him and said “just the once”

he laughed and took off leaving us to continue stealing cheap free foodstuffs and horrible malt liquor in cans too cold to shove into my crotch

a few hours later, as we were telling the people we went to the concert together it included david bowie doing lines off the girls labia

but now that its been 13-14 years, i can be honest
i snuck into the NIN backstage posing as josh davis only to steal cheese and carbonated water
i fucking rule