GagDragon

she snorted pepto bismal, yes, im not going to repeat myself again

while discussing cock rock…

because i frequent a daycare facility twice daily and squeeze through these gossiping, yet oddly attractive, bitches – when they pop the doors on their trendy vans, which i also recently purchased, they have this shit blaring and encourage their kids to “rock out”, which i am also guilty of, but im pushing my kid onto the shit i like rather than the shit im told to like.
the guitar hero sector of the population is impinging on the awesome aspects of rock music by allowing these people to say things like “im down with buckethead” when they can only say “i cant beat that one buckethead song on hard, it’s fucking hard man”
you aint down with buckethead you fucking coooze! you played a video game, hundreds of times, that doesn’t earn you the right to align yourself with those of us who stood outside the riv in chicago for 7 hours just to hear a version of nottingham lace that would melt the skin off of a mud soaked rhinoceros, you spent your free time tapping colored buttons. you are akin to the DDR queers who big up tiesto.

WHO THE FUCK IS TIESTO??

YOU DESERVE TO WEAR A COCK ON YOUR NOSE FOR ETERNITY YOU FUCKING COCK NOSED SOCCER MOM HAVING FAGASS!

im not saying anyone deserves to be eaten by a shark, but come on, the way she was dressed, she was asking for it.

so am i boxing up this placenta or pitching it?

technically speaking its not a baby penis its an enlarged clitorus

my band decided to try something new last year and cover local bands’ original songs and complete sets as a challenge to our ears and performance ability. we sent out scouts to tape record shows of bands we were opening up for, and before our opening slot dates we would cram doing all songs that that band does, originals and covers. what we thought was a pretty cool way to “give daps” ended up almost getting us killed before that bill with Ye Who Strangle Babies, turns out they will strangle anyone, regardless of age. RIP Frank Mendleson, the best 4 chord rhythm guitar player we’ve ever had.